Kaitlyn Tanner

In October of 2018, I turned 17, had ankle surgery, was in a car accident, and was admitted into the hospital for a collapsed lung. This month challenged me in ways I never expected. I am a competitive dancer, and I was going in for surgery to fix an old dance injury, and just days after surgery, I was in a car accident. Thankfully everyone walked away fine, but a few days later, I felt the most excruciating pain on my right side. By the next day, I called my mom from school and told her I couldn’t drive home. She rushed from work, and when she arrived, she panicked. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t even hold my phone, and my skin was slowly turning blue. My mom rushed to the emergency room, and I laid there for hours while they told me that my symptoms didn’t make sense, and maybe it was just a bug. Finally, I convinced them to give me an x-ray. When the doctor returned to my room, his face was sheer panic. They wasted no time and whisked me away. I begged them to wait because I told them I wasn’t numb, but they couldn’t. The next thing I felt was a blinding pain on my side. They had made only a small incision to insert the chest tube, but it felt like they had torn my whole side to shreds. I will never forget the unimaginable pain I felt when they accidentally hit my rib with the chest tub. By the time I was released from the hospital was down to 89 pounds, and I could barely move. Walking even a short distance left me exhausted and out of breath. I was told I had a more than 50% chance it would happen again. That haunted me for a long time. Every pain I felt sent me right back to that day. After months I finally convinced my boyfriend to take me on our favorite hike. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would make it. We took breaks almost every step, and he begged me to turn around, but I kept going. When I reached the top, I finally felt like I was ok again. It was absolutely freezing, and I was exhausted, but I never wanted to forget how I felt, so when we made it back to the car, I wrote, “There’s something incredibly freeing about letting the wind dry your tears. The goosebumps were just proof that I was alive.” I was riddled with anxiety, but on top of that mountain, I gave it away. I realized that life throws curve balls and somethings took me longer than it should but as long as I keep moving, nothing can stop me. This whole experience taught me that life is worth appreciating, and I will never take for granted the simplicity of life.