Katherine Ryan

I long to stand in the center of the scale and no longer jump between sides depending on my circumstances. Despite daily images representing today as, “The best time to be a woman,” I feel the discomfort emerge when considering the triumphs and wrecks of the women before me. To keep balance I look back to my upbringing where Barbie dolls and muddy soccer balls somehow coexist and even then I hear the echoing of my dad telling me to “Work with your mind not your body.” The echo has developed into a race towards an invisible line of success that circulates within me today, for throwing myself forward and stretching to win is the new expectation. My mother’s will for me to “Be my own boss,” an idea I have known since the age of twelve, is what keeps this race moving. Ironically though, her message comes from her own desire for me to not become a homemaker as she is today, even though this is an act I admire greatly in her. Globally, I have learned the power of a shared experience when living with women from the Middle East with the purpose of discussing women’s issues. Despite cultural differences, the need for a strong drive within women was viewed as central to progression; however, the expression of this drive was, and still is, an act of uncertainty. In Persuasion, Jane Austen writes, “…None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives”(Chapter 8). The running ground ahead of me, not only as a woman but also as a human, is not fully paved. As the need to breathe more deeply resurfaces there is a feeling of excitement. For I am a female in an ocean of contradictions, searching for balanced ground to build on.