Katrinka Rudd

I am 42 and have been alone my entire life. For some reason I have always been alone and the kicker is I have created my destiny but not intentionally it just worked out this way. I am a people pleaser and if I cant get their approval or think I dont - I give up - I become withdrawn and they move on. If they talked to me and asked, cared or really loved me they would have asked me -"Whats Wrong"? or MAYBE i need to SPEAK UP!! I guess after I ruined my life and abandon my family I know I dont deserve them and they deserve much better than me. I guess when you do something so terrible in life you dont deserve ANYTHING except to be ALONE and wait to die. That sums it all up in a nut shell for my life.