Kayla Jade

Hello,
My name is Kayla and I am a dreamer and a gypsy.
I have depression. It's not the worst thing in the world, it makes me who I am and I wouldn't change that. It gives me creativty and I believe some intellegence (I think). It is a burden and a blessing all at once. Heres a quote from my idol Stephen Fry - “It's not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me." - the world would be a lot worse off without Stephen Fry.
Unfortunately I left school fairly young, didn't get a fancy job and since then have just been cruising along not really knowing where I am going or why.
In saying that, I have always known that I have wanted to create. I am passionate about creating. I paint all of the time (abstracts and others). I like to write and read. I would make a movie if I had the right camera equiptment. But I can't decide. Maybe that's the depression. Who knows? I'm very indecisive. Maybe I have too many things I like to do and think I have not enough time to do them.
I want to travel the world. That's a no brainer. I am not in the position where I can up and leave and see where my backpack and camera take me. I wish I was. Unfortunately my finances dictact otherwise. I yearn to walk the Great Wall of China and see the beautiful buildings of Machu Pichu. There are about 100 places I could name right now that I would rather be in then here. But travel costs money. Money that I don't have.
I am 27 years old and I still don't really know what or where I want to be. All I know is, it has to be different from what I have now. I want to be happy. I would love a job where my creativity was put to good use. Writing for The Lonely Planet would be nice, or maybe I could be an unpaid artist living in a shack on the coast of Italy living off the land and the fruits of my labour! Oh what a dream...