Like most people, I was born a baby. I enjoy mouthwatering food, breathtaking live music, spectacular entertainment and holding hands with complete strangers as spectacular entertainment. My favorite pastimes are air drying my laundry in a vacuum and giving lessons on how to surf naked. I have an affinity for the ocean, where I spend most of my time yelling obscenities at Pufferfish. “Why the f**k aren't you aerodynamic?”