When I was younger, my dad used to have to take my books away from me before I went to birthday parties, otherwise, I’d sit in the corner and read, avoiding all the festivities until the cake came out. While he did admire that at ten years old I could finish a book in one sitting while still keeping up with schoolwork (granted, I didn’t have much), he was concerned that I’d started to avoid talking to people. And he was right.

The book was my crutch; something I had that calmed me and led me to a place where there were no awkward conversations or the feeling of someone judging me. While most kids yearned for recess so they could play with their friends, I was excited to sit under a tree and finish another chapter of Harry Potter.

I don’t think it was surprising that I was diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder not long later. I really had to learn something new: 1. how to put the book down and 2. realize that a little side glance didn’t mean someone hated me. Learning this was never like the true character arcs that I learned about in school. There’s no climax or resolution, rather it was going back and forth, finding the root of an issue, and sometimes having to start from the beginning again. Digging deeper into my subconscious mind was never something Harry Potter taught me. Fighting Dementors or even Voldemort would have been easier than this.

However, with a little coaching from my parents and others, I was able to become stronger. Trust me, I still love to travel to new fantasy worlds, but I realized how much other people have to offer. Others, in fact, were the ones who wrote these stories I was so fond of. While my story doesn’t end victoriously as it did in the hundreds of books I read, that’s okay. In Divergent, Veronica Roth said, “Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”