In seven hundred fifty-five words or less, this is what happened from late infancy until now: Made it through adolescence without killing myself in a car. I switched colleges several times. I graduated with a right nice lookin’ piece of parchment. I learned to play the harmonica half-ass, lived on the beach, lived in the desert, lived in the Rocky Mountains, all without gettin’ laid or having to go to Viet Nam. In school I studied politics, earned a Bachelor’s Degree in that pursuit, I drove back and forth and up and down the United States of America, Canada (including the Northwest Territories) all the way from the Arctic Circle to Chiappas, from the Atlantic to the Pacific. Flew over both oceans and beyond, and went more places than Columbus, Magellan, Leif Erikson and Ameilia Earhart combined. I’ve been broke, wrecked, bankrupt, shot at, divorced, lost, confounded, cheated, slapped, kicked, robbed, drunk and insane (right before going totally crazy). Lived straight as an arrow, to become a crooked, old man. I’ve caught, arrested, chased, shot, fought and threw a whole lot of punks, crooks, pushers, thieves, murderers, politicians, lawyers, drunks, druggies, hippies, truckers, cowboys, bankers, brokers and illegal aliens (from distant worlds) into the worst jail in the entire country. I spent winters in Polynesia and summers in the North Pole. Somewhere, I met the right girl, stupidly got shuck of her, met another right girl, gave her everything and started over, being greatly blessed with two sons and two daughters from those two marriages. The last ten years spent life with a poet, who writes me no more poetry nor listens to mine. I'm a "Grandpa" with eight grandchildren: Heaven, Julian, Marin, Christopher, Logan, Maxwell, Meadow and Drake. Been teaching them how to whittle, cuss, ride bikes, study and learn, drive, shoot, keep their eyes open and their heads down.