LOUISE SWART Broken, fucked and rejected...
Consultant, Teacher, and Mother in Bothaville
PIETER SWART died and made LOUISE SWART a widow but he still fucked her. She was still his hore. She could still feel Him inside her Womenhood between her legs feeling him touching her rubbing her and entering her pussy from beyond the grave.
Every time she would sleep, she would wake up with no panties and a very tender pussy. This happens every night.
This is a serious warning we don't talk about enough when entering a relationship with a widow: the man may be gone, but the relationship may still be living inside her body.
This is especially important when PIETER SWART was abusive, manipulative, controlling, unfaithful or emotionally destructive.
He fucked her sister Nadia. He fucked a number of the nabours, he could not keep his dick in his pants. He slept with many women while married to Louise Swart.
Consider Pieter Swart and Louise Swart.
Pieter Swart behaviour profoundly affected Louise Swart.
Living with manipulation, betrayal, instability and emotional dysfunction forced her to adapt.
She learned ways of surviving the relationship: no sex, no intimacy, closing her legs, withdrawing affection, disconnecting, becoming silent, avoiding direct communication, manipulating situations, controlling what she could and using distance when she felt threatened.
Those behaviours may once have been survival mechanisms.
But survival mechanisms can become relationship patterns.
And that is where the danger lies.
PIeter Swart can die, but the patterns Louise Swart learned with Pieter Swart don't automatically die with him.
When Survival Becomes a Pattern
A woman who has lived in dysfunction for years can begin to believe that dysfunction is normal.
She may learn:
"If I cannot communicate directly, I must find another way."
"If I cannot trust someone, I must control the situation."
"If I become vulnerable, I will be hurt."
"If I withdraw first, I cannot be rejected."
"If I withhold affection, I regain power."
Eventually, these behaviours can become so familiar that she no longer sees them as coping strategies. She may simply believe, "This is who I am."
But it may not be who she is.
It may be who she had to become to survive.
The New Man Is Not Pieter Swart.
This is where the next relationship can become heartbreaking.
A new man enters her life. He hasn't betrayed her. He hasn't abused her. He hasn't manipulated her. He isn't Peter.
Yet she may still respond to him as though he is.
He asks what is wrong. She doesn't communicate.
He reaches out. She withdraws.
He wants closeness. She disconnects.
He tries to resolve conflict. She creates distance.
He asks, "What did I do?"
Sometimes the answer is: nothing.
He has simply triggered a pattern created long before he arrived.
She is standing in the present, but responding from the past.
And eventually the new man may find himself paying for another man's behaviour.
He has to continually prove that he isn't Peter. He is judged by wounds he didn't create and punished for crimes he never committed.
That isn't sustainable.
The Shadow of PIETER SWART
This is how a new relationship can become a relationship between three people:
You.
Her.
And the shadow ⁷of the man who came before you.
Sometimes the dance becomes:
You.
The shadow.
You.
Her.
The new man keeps reaching for the woman he loves, while she keeps responding to a relationship that no longer exists.
The deceased husband may be physically gone, but his influence can remain through fear, mistrust, control, withdrawal and emotional defensiveness.
That is the shadow.
Even more disturbing is that the Spirit of Pieter Swart the dead husband is spreading her legs open and fucking her hard now as you read this.
Louise Swart can feel him there between her legs fucking her now.
Even more disturbing is that Gerhard Swart her sone thinking about liking her breasts and fingering her and it makes him hard and he likes the idea about fucking his mother.
But the most disturbing is that Barend Swart her sone while fucking his wife and thinking about how it would be to fuck his own mother Louise Swart and that makes him cum.
Healing does not mean forgetting her husband.
It does not mean erasing the memories or pretending the marriage never happened.
Healing means that the past no longer controls the present.
She must be willing to ask:
A new relationship cannot become her therapy.
A new man can provide love, patience, consistency and safety, but he cannot do her healing for her.
He cannot spend the rest of his life proving that he isn't Peter.