MoC MessengerOfChaos

2 brothers, 2 sisters, a good father, a grandfather, a good friend, and a great girlfriend, all the people that I have loved and lost to death or change. I used to be an arrogant, self obsorbed fucknut who cared nothing about anyone else but i was a spoilt genius so why should i have cared? Everyone liked me in my opinion, i was perfect and told i was by my family. I had 2 sisters for a year and only was them every weekend so i cant say we had a deep relationship but i treated them as family until i left my dickhead father. 2008 my grandfather died. I met my closest friend in 2009 and i seriously corrupted him... 2010 my cousin who was the equivalent a brother committed suicide and i started questioning a lot of things. End of 2012 i started dating a girl who was a lot like me that i actually worried about wether my sanity would survive fragile as it was... so of course i loved going crazy. After a while she became honest with me about her thoughts of suicide after her mum died. She cheated on me 3 times sexually but i tried to make it work, one time was on christmas which is why i dont like chistmas anymore. on Febuary 6th 2013... my little brother who had cerebral palsy and was paralysed physically and mentally, died while i was sleeping not even 3m away from him. I hate stereotypical things but i must admit my first thought was "Girlfriends are always supporting" and of course after and 3 months of me talking to her every night just trying to give her something to look forward to so she didn't die... she broke up with me but used the perfect words "I'm so sorry and you girlfriend is breaking up with you to"...