Michael J Brown
I was born in Onalaska Texas, a small town outside of Houston where a country boy learned to hide and run from his pain. I became a survivor of abuse, but because of that I grew hate within my heart to protect myself.
My family (mother, sister, and grandmother) found ourselves here in Longview Texas looking to start over. We started over but I did not forget what we had live through. I spent most of my teen years wishing for death and excepting that I was a freak. I came to see myself as a monster and that God had turn his back on me. At 17 I made my 1st son which was a blessing, but I was to anger and afraid to see this amazing life before me. Married a wonderful woman, but set into destroy her love for me, cause how could anyone love me.
Another son and a few years later we devoiced with a lot of anger and hate for each other. She tried to save me, but I was not having that. After the devoice I ran wild tying to end my life through drugs and drinking. At this time I met an angle that showed me love that brought me to my knees and showed me what my life could have been. She was taken by a drunk driver late one night leaving behind her beautiful daughter.
Again I went back to trying to destroy my life, many night I would lay awake plotting killing myself and proving to everyone I didn't need anyone in my life. Mainly God I didn't want this so call savior to save me I was done for.
God sent another angle into my life, she brought me out of drinking and drugs. She showed me that someone with her beauty could love this beast I had created. I was so in love with her that I placed her on a thorn and then caged her up so I could not lose her, so I thought. She blessed me with 2 more wonderful kids and the most amazing thing is that she blessed me with my daughter. But once again life threw me a curve ball and I being to attack her and myself trying to destroy what God had blessed me with.
She left me after I tried to end my life with a shot gun. She walked in and fought with me to take the gun out of my hands. The only thing that stopped me was my daughter’s eyes which were teared up with pain and fear. God forgive me, I was a fool and destroyed her love for me. Soon after she left and again I fell to death to escape the pain.
No friend stepped in, no phone call, no rescue squad, just God himself stepped in and took away that choice in my life and brought me to my knees. A few days later my kids came to