Hannibal Mokayah

Nairobi

Unemployed, currently buried in a sea of boring job seeking moments that have turned me into a whiny shrew for co-dependency, tepid sex, and shouting matches. I enjoy drinking, online torlling, midget porn, and self-righteous indignation. I like to run with scissors. I love to give compliments that prominently display my gender stereo-types. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. For fun, I enjoy browsing other people's profiles and making shallow judgments about their mediocre looks, and social skills. Everything I need to know about life I got from watching Jerry Springer. In my free time I have written a thesaurus that included an emphasis on the most useful curses. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless statistics, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a shtty bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by a loud screaming match and culminating in an ashtray blow to the head - yours or mine, it doesn't really matter. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into alcoholism and pills. Age unimportant, but I often condescend to women under 22 and rehash mother issues with women over 43.