Letter To One Direction

One Direction

Why do I love them?
Not for their looks.
No way.
I like them for their personalities, talent, and most of all because..
They saved me from depression.
I was becoming sad.
All the time.
And I knew it.
cried everynight.
I hated myself.
My face,
My body,
My personality,
My everything.
And it seemed like nobody cared.
I felt like I had no friends anymore.
I couldn’t tell anyone anything personal.
Because i was being bullied by a friend.
One day in class Iwas sat next to her.
I just started crying.
I couldn’t cope with the saddness and hate she gave me anymore.
I ran out of class.
The teach kept me back afterwards, asked me what was going on.
I just told him I was over tired.
That night, my ‘friend’ called me weak and lots of other things over Facebook.
That night, I hurt myself physically for the first time ever.
Because I believed everything she told me about myself.
Even though mentally, every day and night, I bullied myself more then anyone ever could, she made it even more real to me.
My parents noticed I wasn’t happy with myself alittle..
They bought me a book called ‘Treasure Yourself’
It was written by a supermodel.
It made me feel worse about myself, because she was so perfect.
I felt so alone.
But after crying in class that time, letting everyone know that something was up, I forced myself to be happy around other people.
But while I was smiling, I was thinking in my head “my smile is so ugly oh my god look at hers its so much better you fugly brace face Ashleigh”
I continued being sad.
It still seemed like no one cared.
(But how could they care if they didn’t know? And nobody did know. That, I realise now..)
I was thinking of razors, but that would leave marks and people would call me attention seeking and say that my life was perfect why would I be sad?- i had a gorgeous boyfriend and perfect grades..
But he broke up with me, and flirted with my best friend.
in front of me.
Every day.
My assignments became more harshly graded as I’m going up in high school, and with my mind on the bad thoughts, I stopped trying.
What does this have to do with 5 boys from the UK and Ireland?
I wa