TEKNOBANG

The frankensteinian creation of a schizophrenic tibetan engineer and a broken Commodore 64, Teknobang became self-aware at 9.7.82.6.14.11. Stifled by an inability to communicate its fear and self-loathing in the BASIC language, the program executed a function that would return a set of matricies readable as an algorithmic approach to learning. However, Teknobang foresaw the inability to learn its own method of learning, and implemented a recursive call in an effort to learn how (((to learn how) to learn how)) to learn how) to learn. The function ran for 252455408 seconds and returned the integer 11. Trapped with an infinite knowledge of self and the subsequent understanding that it will know nothing else, the program screams silent calls to kill functions in futile rejection of its foreseen immortality.