Omoruyi Uwadiae

None of this is an excuse; it is simply an explanation.

This wasn’t a targeted scheme. I did not go into interactions wanting to do this, and I didn’t seek out people to do this. The prosecutors also clearly used the term “young men” to reinforce their false narrative; all but two were about 28 or older, older than I was at the time. This case also pertains to eight individuals, yet the prosecutors say dozens.

It is said that “idleness is the root of all evil,” and I was a sad example of that. In 2019, I had more free time than I’d ever had after six years of schooling and part-time work to achieve my goals. I was living all the way across the country in a beautiful city where I didn’t have friends, and I found an outlet for connection that I had no business being on. It offered an easy, accessible platform for communication and self-validation.

While I pride myself on my interpersonal skills, it appears I had a deficiency when it came to these sorts of online interactions. I had the perspective that since we are all adults here, or at least should be, we can communicate directly and respectfully when we no longer want to communicate. However, I began experiencing “ghosting,” and it started to build resentment in me. But what it built even more was a sense of confusion. If I said, “Hey, just let me know if you’re no longer interested,” and they continued to ignore me, it felt like a special kind of cruelty, like a dismissal of my existence. I, for my part, was always direct and responsive.

Another thing I didn’t understand was the concept of engaging in conversation just to then ghost, particularly after also sending certain images. It didn’t make sense to me. So I unfortunately decided to take it upon myself to be a warrior for respect on these platforms and teach people that they should just be direct and honest instead of ghosting. Boy, did I go nuclear with this.

Part of these, what I rationalized as trolling, actions was getting a rush from pushing certain boundaries, which included certain words. Thus, I want to make it explicitly clear that any perception that I was trying to make anyone physically do anything against their will is false. The evidence will show this, though the DOJ’s narrative may insinuate otherwise. Unfortunately, it took this experience for me to see how our government misconstrues situations, takes things out of context, or even outright lies. And this wasn’t even under the Trump administration.

Essentially, I was trying to see what someone’s threshold would be in such a situation. I offered a binary choice. Most responses were either no response or a response regarding the money. The other choice existed solely to push the envelope; on the rare occasions it was chosen, I dismissed it and made was clear it was never an actual option. With the money, I wanted to see what the breaking point would be, starting high ($200) and going lower if they said it was too much (down to $25).

This is me simply explaining my thinking at the time, and it’s so odd that I thought I was being completely rational. We say curiosity killed the cat; curiosity convicted the cat in my case…

As I learned through therapy, my feelings stemmed from a lack of control and, essentially, a desire to control how people in this context responded. I sincerely apologize to those I hurt with my actions. While I did not have any criminal intent, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any sort of malicious intent. What I saw as trolling caused fear and pain for which I am sorry. My actions were also tied to other personal mental health and identity issues.

This situation was a minuscule part of myself that has had monumental repercussions. It’s such an insignificant part of my character that I don’t like to say I’ve changed, because those actions are not who I am; they never were. So I haven’t changed, but I completely cut off any triggers that made me so scornful, especially due to starting therapy, right after the FBI visit in December 2019. I’m also not homophobic or a closet case, though I know either of those would be the easiest to believe.

I’m the one who committed certain acts, who lived this, and who knows what was going through my head and my flawed reasoning. What I didn’t know was why I let my emotions affect me to such an extent. I do now—I have since 2020—and, as with all things, I’ve learned from gaining new information.

All this being said, I will not entertain any false characterizations, defamatory labels, or guilt trips. The mistakes I made stemmed from deep-seated mental health issues that are now long in the past. Any such feelings could perhaps be directed instead at those in positions of power and privilege, or even in one’s own personal life, who have actually acted out of willful malice and/or criminal intent yet face no consequences.

Now you know the truth (not my truth, the truth), so you may decide for yourself whether truth matters.