Patti Maxwell

My name is Patti, and I am a carbaholic. As far back as I can remember, I have been addicted to the sugary goodness, and comfort that carbs provide. Oh, how I wish I could live by the mantra of “all things in moderation”. I tend to just stop at the “all things” part.
My mom was a single parent and worked two jobs to keep the household running. Food was not something that was freely available, and had to be rationed to last until the next paycheck. It was during that time that food became my obsession.
As a growing kid (5’8″ by the time I was twelve), I found myself hungry a lot of the time. I stayed pretty physically active, as kids did back in the late 60′s and 70′s, which further fueled my appetite.
When one is hungry, yet has to refrain from eating available food, one finds a way to eat. My sneak eating began at that point. My most vivid memory to this point was during summer vacation when I was about twelve years old. My mom had baked a cake, and instructed my sister and me to not eat any of it while she was at work. After a day of swimming at the community pool, I came home ravenous.
I started out by eating a small slice where she wouldn’t notice, but my hunger wouldn’t let me stop there, until I had devoured most of the cake. After I digested both the cake and the awareness of what I had just done, I panicked. I scraped together enough quarters, dimes etc, and bought another cake mix, came home and baked another cake.
Now I couldn’t let on that I had baked an entirely new cake, and there was still a quarter of the original cake left. You see where I am heading with this story, right? Yes! I ate the rest of the original cake, and then proceeded to eat the new cake down to where the original cake was when my mom left for work. I have been sneak eating ever since.
Even as an adult, I continue to sneak eat. I don’t have anyone to hide from, but sneaking food has become as much a part of me as anything else I do. I still find myself waiting until my husband leaves the room before I quietly move to the kitchen to procure my secret snack. My dear husband is completely aware of my sneaky habit, and is gracious enough to not shed light upon it. I am not fooling anyone, but still I cannot bring myself to let go of my ritual.
I began to gain weight as a late teenager and into adult hood. Like most young women, I crash dieted and moved up and down the scale. I have clothes in my closet ranging from size six to siz