Pete Lolman

Hi, my names Pete, I am one of the UK's most prominent online producers. Here's my story.

Picture the scene: it's a cold winters day, the grass is wet with dew, a sort of crisp fresh smell cleanses your nostrils as you drink in the view of an empty semi proffesional running track. pan right. A young athletic man streches in front of you, his name is Pete. Pete Lolman.

"Good luck son," you say (you're my dad) "don't let the bastards get you down."

Jack Ovsky Lolman, self-made millionaire, and inventor of the keychain. My father. He has invested millions (metaphorically speaking) into my career, and at this point was about to see me train for my first ever marathon.

I would go on to come eigth in the great exeter run that year. But far more important than this, was what happened next. BBC Radio Dorset were providing coverage for the event, and as a budding radio producer, I knew what I had to do.

I stumbled over the finishing line, exhausted and broken. As my vision began to return I noticed something, what looked like a big black line in the sky. Slowly I realised what this was; it was a boom. I ran up to the operator, at first he ignored me, but after 30 seconds of me intermittently throwing up on his shoes he spoke.

"What the F are you doing?," he barked.

"J-jjob," I blurted.

He seemed puzzled, but he took my details and promised to get back to me.

In the following weeks I hear nothing. But one monday after a what at first seemed promising poach egg, the phone rings.

"Pete Lolman," I answer. A nervous sounding man replies.

"Yes I know who you are, I'm Clyde from GLR (Greater London Radio), you gave a soundman your contact details at the Exter Run two weeks ago?"

"That's right."

"Listen," he said sternly "we are looking for someone with ABSOLUTELY NO previous expierence to run alongside Paul Ross, recording his every word, for the London marathon next month."

"Fuck," I shout, my mind racing out words before my mouth can close.

Paul Ross, brother of Johnathan Ross, had been my idol for years. He is, in my opinion, a mile and a half better then Johnathan. I mean, have you ever seen Wossy run a marathon? I think not.

The researcher from GLR (Greater London Radio) offered me the job there and then, and I snapped at the chance. I have gone on to be the assistant online editor of Sunday, and present my own online radio show via Sound Cloud. BOSS.