ZhangTomlinson LayLouis

The person you wish you've never met.. People tell me i'm a waste, useless, out of control, just a piece of sand that god made to fill in a spot...

I'm so tired of this abuse of words...WHY AM I USELESS HM? i do so much good and only think of others feelings over my own hoping they fucking smile for at least 10 seconds of their day making sure they have some happiness that i stray away from mine and all i get down the rode is "You're Useless, I don't know why god or even your parents created you" .....

Words hurt..and i hope people know that..you can't truly say you know how i feel until you've been through the same exact shit i go through everyday..

I listened to two songs today one called "Never Would've made it" and the other one called "He's Able". Yes these are gospel songs and when i was singing along to it i never truly listened to the words..but as of today i finally got down on my knees and praised god for actually waking me up this morning...he gives me hope ..no matter how small it is that life gets better and he's here for me even if his people are against me..he never gives up on me

In the song "Never Would've made it" the words say..

"Never would have made it
Never could have made it
Without You

I would have lost it all
But I now I see
How You were there for me
And I can say

I'm stronger, I'm wiser
I'm better, much better

When I look back
Over all You brought me through
I can see that You were the One
I held on to"

I Literally cried my eyes out to these words..also The other song "He's able" the words say..

"God is able to do just what he said he would do
He's gonna fullfill every promise to you
Don't give up on God cause He won't give up on you
He's Able"

I have thought about giving up on god and everyone around me but i know god never gave up on me since i'm here and i believe he will make a way to happiness for me.