A life-long San Francisco Giants fan, I am a Senior Fellow at the Pataphysical Institute of Northern California, and am one of the world’s leading Heterosexual Relationship Specialists. I have developed a unique and hard-hitting self-help program for men based on Pre-Classical values and ethics. I draw upon the fundamental works of Western Antiquity, focusing on the ontological, axiological and epistemological discoveries found in the early texts as a means of shaping the male role in the modern heterosexual relationship, though I do employ, where applicable, later source material. Aware of the impossibility of asking a modern man to emulate the rigorous virtues and behavior of a long-dead society, yet convinced the overwhelming majority of men are desperate for serious personal over-haul, I have designed a program geared to the more modest scope and capabilities of Today’s Heterosexual Man. I am happily married, a fervent and devoted Good Partner.