I am friendly, but cynical, intelligent, articulate, conversational and doubt the nature of existence - but that's just my hobby. I value friendship, duty, honour, manners and discipline - and I don't like injustice.

I am eclectic, quirky, open, and fastidiously honest - honestly! (always lose at Scruples). I have soldiered, stood in the line of fire, guarded bodies, studied history and religion. I have measured doors and changed minds. I am a father, friend, colleague, team-mate and son. I am a fan of the human being, but perhaps a bit wary of the human race, as I can't run very quickly!

I'm fat, ugly and use a wheelchair - get over it! Any notion of disability is entirely of your own construction and does not involve me!