Robert Clark Young

My name is Robert Clark Young. My life changed with one phone call on July 30, 2008. My mother, 500 miles away, had suffered a stroke that permanently garbled her speech. I left my home, my relationship and my friends--"temporarily"--to help my father care for her.

Four months later, my dad, straining from these new burdens, but keeping silent about his cares, suffered a stroke even more devastating than my mom's. He was paralyzed on the right side.

I had no background whatsoever in eldercare or geriatrics. Like so many millions of Americans my age, I was thrust into a life of eldercare. And instead of caring for one infirm parent, I had two of them.

I didn't think I could do it. But today I'm astounded to admit that eldercare has become routine for me. I'm amazed at how much I have learned. And I know that if I can learn to become a family caregiver, anyone can.

I want to use my experience to help others. I have written a book, THE SURVIVOR: How to Deal With Your Aging Parents, While Enriching Your Own Life.

I have been doing this work for free in my parents' home for five years. I consider it the most important work I have ever done. These years have been the most exciting, gratifying, and transformative period of my life. I'm convinced that any person with a compassionate heart can become a successful caregiver.

According to AARP, 61% of family care providers are women, with the typical caregiver being a 46-year-old female who is caring for one or both parents. Of the 39% of caregivers who are men, a majority are husbands of senior women, rather than sons. This gender imbalance in eldercare is one of the things we need to work to change.

I'm unusual in being a male caregiver. One of the goals of this book is to help people understand that men can--and should--become nurturers.

But my greatest wish is that this book will become a vital lifeline to everyone who, overnight, must face what first appears to be the devastating challenge of eldercare--a challenge that opens the way to unexpected growth and fulfillment for the caregiver. There is nothing to fear in eldercare. There is only joy, growth, and love.