Roe K

Hello, how are you? Uhm... Where should I start? Well, first off I am a 15 year old girl, living in NZ. It's a beautiful country, and I haven't seen this much green in a country since I lived in Korea for around half my life.

Growing up, I was raised in Korea, where education was #1 and the student's ambitions were placed last. With the IQ level of 138, all I can remember is taking similar tests over and over again. I didn't understand why I was studying. I began hating it to the point I skipped school continuously, instead going to the library where there was free WiFi, and watch anime or play games. At the time, I was really into Maple Story and StarCraft. My parents and I argued a lot, whenever they were home that is. I didn't really care, my brother was always and still steals the spotlight. My parents referred to me as the black sheep, I not only due to my actions, but also because of my refusal to be religious.

If everything has a story behind it so does religion, for me. Up until 2012, I went to church, yes, I was religious, but then my grandmother passed away. It may have been the young child grieving, but she wanted someone to blame. Until the moment my grandmother took her final breath, I was praying. Praying that He would leave her alone, and allow her to be in this world. He didn't.

The time after her death was pretty tough, it was around that time I found talking to people difficult. Whenever my mother gathered us all up to go to the mall or somewhere crowded and noisy, I always had my headphones and hoodie on. I didn't like making eye contact with strangers, I didn't like the feeling of skin to skin contact. I think I hate people in general. There are the few close to me who I love and care for; however, I found that it was difficult to expand the world I live in. My world was something small and fragile.

I also am not a romantic person. At all. Honestly speaking, I think people should give up on all the marriage drama, and reproduce for the sake of reproducing. Children learn from their parents, and I'm not saying that I come from a divorced family, or a single parent, but rather, sometimes I don't understand why my mother will not divorce my father. All they ever do is fight; about his cigarette and alcohol problems, and the amount of money he spends.

When I grow older, I want to leave everything behind and try to figure out the meaning of "happiness" and "life" for myself.