Rukeuo Fuckyou

16 • feb 5th ♒ (birthday twin w/ Casper fr)

emo as hell at heart, always in my damn feelings, always lost in my own little world
like fr my mind never shuts the fuck up — it’s constant noise, constant thoughts, constant feelings stacking on top of each other
sometimes it’s deep shit, sometimes it’s nothing, but it’s always *something*
I stay up late as fuck, not even scrolling — just me, my thoughts, the quiet, and that heavy ass feeling that creeps in when everything slows down and I can actually hear myself think

I notice everything. like literally everything
the small shit, the tone shifts, the way people act different depending on who they’re around
I pick up on energy way too fast and it lowkey fucks me up sometimes because I can’t ignore it even if I want to
but at the same time, it makes me real as hell — I see people for what they are, not what they pretend to be

gay as fuck and I’m not toning that shit down for anybody 💅
I’m not hiding, not shrinking, not making myself easier to accept just so people don’t feel uncomfortable
if someone can’t handle it, that’s their problem, not mine
I love hard as hell, like *really* hard — I feel everything deeply, sometimes too deeply
and yeah… I love my boyfriend, for real, no weird shit, no pretending, no halfway feelings
when I care, I go all in — no games, no fake energy, no holding back

small circle but real as fuck — Mia, Briana, Daniel & Casper
that’s all I need and I mean that shit I don’t do fake friendships, I don’t do forced conversations, and I don’t keep people around just to not feel alone
if you’re in my circle, you matter for real
loyalty means everything to me — I’ll ride for you, defend you, be there no matter what
but the second that shit isn’t mutual? I’m gone. no hesitation

anime is basically my personality at this point and I’m not even sorry about it
saiki k, mashle, mob psycho 100, one piece, ouran host club, yarichin bitch club, tougen anki, hunter x hunter, death note, the summer hikaru died — and a shit ton more
and it’s not just watching it — I get attached, like emotionally attached
those stories hit different, those characters feel real, that shit sticks with me
it’s comfort, it’s escape, it’s something that actually makes sense when real life doesn’t

movies too because I feel everything way too much and I lowkey like it
a whisker away, suzume, drifting home, black clover: sword of the wizard king, jujutsu kaisen, words bubble up like soda pop…
AND MONONOKE >>> I’ve watched that shit in every version, every time, over and over
like it’s not just “oh I like it” — nah, I’m obsessed fr
the vibe, the story, the feeling — it sticks in my head in a way I can’t even explain

music, late nights, random thoughts, staring at the ceiling for hours — that’s my kind of peace
even when it’s messy, even when it hurts a little, even when my brain won’t shut the hell up
there’s something about it that feels real

I’m a little chaotic, a little quiet, and a little too damn deep sometimes
I overthink everything, replay conversations in my head, wonder if I said too much or not enough
I care more than I probably should, and yeah sometimes it fucks me up
but I’d rather feel too much than nothing at all — at least I know I’m real

I’m not for everyone and I know that
I can be distant, I can be intense, I can be confusing as hell but I’m honest, I’m loyal, and I’m always gonna be myself no matter what
I’m not changing who I am just to fit into someone else’s version of “acceptable”

I’d rather be real as hell than easy to understand
I’m not here to be simple, I’m not here to be liked by everybody, and I’m definitely not here to be fake
I am who I am — messy, emotional, loud in my own quiet way, and completely unapologetic about it

if you vibe with me, you vibe
if not… that’s cool too
not everyone’s meant to get me, and I’m not about to water myself down just to make it easier for them

take me as I am or don’t take me at all — either way, I’m still gonna be me I NEVER SHOW MY FACE and if you read all that you a real one fr fr