I was the born in 1987 in the rough ghetto of Arlington Heights, Illinois to a couple of carnies. My mother was the bearded woman and my father was the man who would take a cannon ball to his stomach. Shortly after being born, my family moved to a corn growing, God fearing town of Oskaloosa, Iowa for reasons that lawyers for the Illinois Carnival Association have advised is not disclosed publicly. We'll just say it wasn't pretty...

In my senior year in high school, I was told that my sense of humor matched one of whom my Creative Writing teacher knew... "She has a website and she also has e-cards..." Ms. Horton explained. When I went to check out the website and e-cards I was introduced to a world he had never ventured. As I watched the "GoldPants" e-card I saw the light... Music was the answer. Shortly after discovering the joys of Leslie Hall, I invited her to Oskaloosa to Midnite Drip [now closed]. At 6:00, I experienced life for the first time. Bedazzled by her beats and in awe by her dance moves I thought to myself "You can do this!" After the show, Leslie said to me that I should think about making an Internet band and that I, too, could become an internet cewebrity.

Armed with GarageBand and a liter-a-cola, I sat down at my Mac and began my journey into this magical world of beats. Now, in 2011 after 7 long years of waiting, I am ready to share my creations with the world. My first CD, "Hot and Flabulous" is currently in the works.