Scott Ross

Guy walks into a joint in South Beach, sits down at the bar, orders a cocktail. All of sudden, out of the guy's coat pocket and onto the bar jumps a 12-inch man. Really!
Little fella runs up and down the bar, cussin' like a drunken trucker, knocks over everyone's drinks, spits at the bartender, then jumps back into the guy's coat pocket.

Bartender stands frozen ... looks left, looks right to survey the damage, mouth agape, shocked, stunned, bewildered, amazed ... then wipes the spit from his brow and barks, "What the hell was that?!!" The guy grimaces with embarrassment, then wimpers, "Uhh, that was a 12-inch man." Bartender stutters, "Wuh-wuh-wuh-where the hell did you find that little bastard!?"

"Well," the guy responds, "I was walking down the beach, checkin out the talent, when I stepped on something protruding from the sand. Dug it out, cleaned it off, looked like one of those storybook magic lanterns. So just for chuckles, I rubbed it and all of a sudden, poof! Out of the lantern pops a genie. I swear! Genie bellows, "You have freed me from the lantern. I will grant you one wish." Guy pauses, sighs, sips his drink, exhales.

Bartender grumbles impatiently, "Well, what was your wish!?" Guy throws his palms above his head, rolls his eyes and whines . . . "All I wished for was a 12-inch prick and THIS is what he gave me!"