Shiloh Martin

Born in Dinuba CA............raised in Bend, Oregon. Moved to Northern Nevada in 1980 first to Reno and then to Carson City, Moving back to Reno in a few months but Bend will always be home and one day very soon I hope to be living there again. If that doesn't turn out to be possible, if I can just get into a position where I can visit at least twice a year, I will be semi happy too. Pregnancy came far too young...........then marriage still too young but I had my second son from that so it wasn't a total bust. For so long it was just the boys and me. Found my absolute soulmate in 1991. We were together for 7 years. I had never been so happy but then as suddenly as he had come into my life, he was taken out of my life and I have been alone again ever since. No one could compare to him. I thought I wouldn't want to be in love ever again and subject the hurt and grief that caused but now I realize what I would have been missing had I not met him and just what I am missing now by removing myself from the male gender. I want to be in love again. If I had known at the beginning that I would be losing him in a short 7 years, I would have jumped in with both feet anyway. That was when I knew it was time to put myself out there again. Have to admit tho I have some serious walls to tear down and the most patient of the patient will be able to get them down. I wonder if there is such a person. I am truly family oriented. I care deeply about my family. I can't always say they feel the same. My oldest son and I get along not at all. That is what happens I think when you have a child so young and the age gap between the two of you is so small. He is lazy and such a slob. My younger son is married with a year old daugher and another sweet girl due in November. He and I are very close. Something I am realizing only now that his new wife cannot appreciate. She does from her family and her but not the other way around. It hurts me especially the tug of war that my son always is being put into. I live in a big house with my oldest, brother and mom. Sounds totally off the wall I know but circumstances were such 5 years ago that made me believe I would be helping all of us by doing this. Totally has backfired on me. My sister says get out now!!! Easier said than done altho I am working on it. I have worked all my life it seems. All in office settings or call center CSR but last 10 years in casino cage. Done w/casino. New job training on Aug 1 and I am excited. Back to CS