Simon Tiberius Wolf

What’s up, I’m Simon T Wolf. I’m a personal trainer in the dark arts, a psychosexual therapist and BDSM lifestyle coach, living in Reservoir. I am a fan of coffee, fun outdoors and adventurous activities. I’m also a qualified chef, into cooking the old way, innovation anywhere there's a MOSFET and want a titanium body, quantum processor mind and a few exabytes of secure memory storage for the encyclopaedia I have built into my neo-cortex and across the corpus callosum, connecting both hemispheres with approximately 150% more intra-hemisphere axons, dendrites and neurones culminating in a level of background noise I can barely shut out but wouldn't if I could. Thinking as slowly as most 18 year olds (you rarely get much faster on average) actually hurts; I have three fMRI data and analysis to back this up if you doubt me - my neurosurgeon, orthopaedic specialists, immunologists and physiotherapists think it's worth the effort to study my rather unique circumstances and have each earned PhDs and other Post-Doctoral recognitions for that study, that I dare not embarrass them here in public.

Yes I've got an ego the size of Uluru, but who wouldn't when Albert Einstein, Leibnitz, Newton, Galíleó and I dare say Archimedes would have trouble keeping apace. I'm not more intelligent, just fast…really fast. I'll need at least 4096! quantum circuits, 10^googol exabytes and the resources of the 3 main belts of detritus in our solar system plus 1000 or so high-end mainframes like DoJo and 500 ASML - TSMC EUV fabs just to begin the planning of how to harness our star's full output for the remaining 5 billion or so years of its main sequence, to leave you with the plans to knowing the whole universe: not conquering it, KNOWING every subatomic inkling of a possibility so that when it's time to start the whole process over again, it won't take 13.8~0.2bn years to get started again.

My firmest belief is that we are it. The first at any rate, that will pass through the greatest filter: heat-death at the end to witness the next quantum scale event that has kept this cycle going for however long it has been going.

Shall we dance?

DJ, hit me with a phat disco funky one nation under the groove style lick from that deck and PUMP UP THE VOLUME!