soo bbong

One question that I struggled with the most growing up is “What is your name?”

I have two names: Kate and Katie. Although they differ by only one letter, they represent two distinct individuals.

Kate was known as the President of North Gwinnett High School, who was somehow involved in every club at the school. Kate strove to carry herself as a reliable, responsible, and flawless student whom both classmates and teachers can rely on.

Unlike Kate, Katie is unafraid to be true to herself, whether or not it exposes her imperfections. She's “real” with others and shines brightest when loved ones are in need. To the ones she grew up with, she is known as Katie.

Most of my life, I went by the name Kate both literally and figuratively. I believed that if I presented myself as an easy-going and “perfect” person, I would be accepted everywhere I went. Yet, during the times when perfection was impossible to reach, my confidence turned to shame.

Shame is like a filter over your face that accumulates gunk over time. This shame became the lens through which I perceived my life, obfuscating my view of reality, making it difficult to live authentically.

However, after failing to execute an anticipated plan for my school's homecoming, the student body didn't judge me, but accepted me despite my unsuccessful attempts.

I’ve learned that my character is not defined by my past transgressions but rather by how I can use these moments to uplift myself and others. Without these experiences as Kate, I would have never learned to see things in a different light: failure does not reflect me, but reflects the growth in me.

This shift in mindset allowed me to accept my weaknesses and use them as motivation to move forward. This led to new connections as I allowed myself to use my own experiences to help others who were in need of a new perspective.

I don't regret the times that I was Kate; however, when others ask for my name, I now reply Katie.