Stacey Ryan

An astrologer once told me I was from the planet Zandar, and my soul was waiting for the mother ship to return to reunite me with my soul mate. Yeah, so I had to explode her and scatter her remains on the bullshit fertilised loser garden.

Just briefly, I like breathing, walking 5 mm above the ground, jumping off things and forgetting to land (thanks Mr Adams).

Thinking about Jack Handey makes me happy: "I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks."