Tess Harrison

I am Tess, a London City girl who has moved out to the beautiful English countryside to a quaint white cottage with my 3 children and 1 husband. Sounds like I'm living the dream, right? I'm meant to "live happily ever after' right? What a load of cock that is. Being plunged into a middle class white suburban country town is quite a culture shock to a girl like me. This is Tory land. There's etiquette. Fitting in around here is a full time occupation. And do I even want to? What with my tendancy to 'over-share', my Citalopram and white whine habit, and my foul mouth I find myself getting into a whole host of socially awkward scrapes - and that's even before I've left the school gates.

I love retro fashion, red lippy, spots (not the facial type), tea, wine, baths so hot they make your bottom itch, total silence, self-help books, swearing, getting 'into the zone' on the dance floor, and of course my kids and Ben, my husband (the poor old sod).

Please enjoy my blog, I hope to amuse and entertain you and say all the stuff that most people only think and daren't say out loud.