Tamara Kells

Until a few months ago, I was a humor columnist being carried in over 20 cities for AOL's online paper, "Patch". I write about the dumb stuff I do, dorky observational things, my kids, my husband, our entire family; even the animals aren't left alone in my writing. I've been likened to Erma Bombeck, which is awesome; except for the part about no longer being alive. We lost a trail blazer when she departed. I hope that somewhere, she doesn't mind when people say such nice things. Still, I am first and foremost a complete technological troglodyte working for an online company which is a complete oxymoron. Well, OK, I'm the moron; not the company.

I'm now concentrating on finishing my book, tentatively called, "My Heels are Alive (and are trying to kill me)". It was either that or, "Lucy vs. the Thanksgiving Turkey". Granted, the turkey was dead, but it was slippery, and once it flies across your floor, it tends to gain momentum. The two dogs, two cats and the ferret, most certainly thought it was alive, and took up chase, which resulted in an all out hillbilly debacle. By the time I picked it up, it had enough animal hair on it that it looked as if it had been re-animated. Now, I just need to find an agent who doesn't mind representing someone who tells every idiotic, mind numbingly awkward thing she's ever done to the entire world, & I'll be set.

You can read previous columns at Patch. You can also check out my blog, The Brunette Lucy, or you can read about my fight and subsequent win with breast cancer at The Brunette Lucy vs. Breast Cancer (that one actually got an award!).