Timmy John

Hi, I'm Timmy John — part-time treasure hunter, full-time cereal enthusiast. I was born on a foggy Tuesday in a small village where the internet still fears to tread. By the age of 9, I had already built my first robot (which promptly rebelled and now freelances as a barista in Oslo). I once tried to live on nothing but pineapple for 30 days — spoiler: don’t.

I hold a PhD in Advanced Theoretical Napping from the University of Misplaced Priorities and have briefly interned at a secret underwater research base (they told me not to talk about it, so obviously I will). I can play seven instruments poorly, speak fluent sarcasm, and once gave a TED Talk to a group of confused penguins.

Currently, I’m working on my memoir, “Oops, That Wasn’t the Plan,” and dreaming of one day opening a museum dedicated entirely to left-handed spoons.