Trixy Blitzen

Born in 1958, more shit has happened to me than anyone else on the planet! As an environmental scientist that is also a poet on horseback, I can see shit being flung at me a mile away. I have very good eyesight too. I speak three languages and know my Family roots back to the twelth century. I also love my very favorite cowboy poet, Willy Shakespeare. There is no conspiracy on the planet that my ancestors haven't been a part of. Inmagine that! I don't need to lie about anything because I can always catch one in the act. I love to hunt, fish and practice Outward Bound techniques. Who needs a gun when your eyes glow in the dark? I prefer using my favorite Hound, Dewfuss, to catch critters for me to eat. Did I mention that my favorite person on the planet owns a gun shop and can cut you to death in 2 seconds? Then there's my Husband...I am a newly wed who somehow got knocked up before her wedding night and find myself pregnant at age 53. Life sucks and then I enter stage right to really mess things up. I wonder why people are scared of me; especially those psycho liars from Hell. Did I mention that I spent 2 nights in the Aspen Jail House last month? Of course that was two separate nights; one early on the month and one mid-month. I hate it when truth is stranger than fiction, but that's my big fat butt life. Have I mentioned that I'm 5'8" and 122 lbs.? Not for long. The next 7 months are going to be Hell on wheels for me, but I'm hunkered down in my Fox Hole and there's no dragging me out until this is all over with. On top of everything, I end up getting knocked up by a damn crazy Irish German Geronimo. Some girls get all the luck, but not me. The only thing left on my bucket list is learning to fly a helicopter. My people tell it's like sucking on a tit, but I want to see for myself. And how are you doing anyway?