Trent Wolbe

I will destroy you and eat your brains and kill your children and eat their little brains too (little candy dessert brains). If you have any pets, I'll steal them and sell them to the glue factory or Taco Bueno for $2.75/ea. I hate shopping and have terminal depression that also makes me a brilliant, reckless business mind. I speak 45 languages and learned how to manufacture firearms from trees and grass. I taught Hitler how to make the gas chambers and then I firebombed Dresden in my sleep. Don't even ask me about politics because I control your politics and the pitiful paradigm they exist in. I went to Mars, met some Martians, researched their worst virus and brought it back to earth. I sold to Merck for more money than I'd care to think about. It was marketed as polio in the 1st half of the 20th century, then in the latter half as AIDS. I directed Jurassic Park and invented ice skating and caulk scrapers.