Turdougen

Our hero was born and bred in a lab at a very young age and soon learned that your Earth's yellow sun gave him horrible, cooked-meat smelling sunburns. His superpowers include: Quick Wit, Good Grammar, Practiced Self-Deprecation, Heat Vision, and being Unnaturally Cuddly.

He is also a Rocket-fueled photographer, father, husband, criminal justice student, potential criminal mastermind, writer, artist and retired kick-the-can player (1980-1983) living about as far away from New York and Los Angeles as you can get at the same time.

I've had my heart broken more times than I like to count in the past but I'm married now, to a creature from another planet, a planet where they make 'em FINE and non-crazy, which is good... so that's not going to happen anymore. Quit trying to make it sound stupid that I finally found a girl worth wanting so badly... it'll happen to you if you just give up like I did and let her find you.

He has lovable, adorable little girls who are destined to destroy Tokyo with their cuteness and mind-control death rays. You've been warned.

I have a social disorder that makes me want you to like me.
Read that slower if it sounds like gibberish.