I am a survivor of childhood abuse. While I have been in and out of the mental health system for over 35 years, I am just beginning to understand how the traumas formed me. I am in therapy and while this is not the first time, it’s the first time I’m taking control by educating myself. This includes learning about PTSD and developmental traumas. It also means validating myself or selves as the case may be. Hiding is what victims do and do it well, even from the self. I don’t want to hide anymore. The cost is too high. So here I am, trying to figure it all out.