that's me

everything started the past year in september. i had a friends' group and we were so happy, one of them always made me feel like shit, my parents/cousins hit me, my family started to hate me at all, i had bad grades, i liked a boy and he hated me, and more but i got tired.

one shitty day, my dad started to hit me with a stick till it broke, like 2 hours later my mom started to yell at me and i just ran to the bathroom and locked the door, put out a blade and i did 5 scratches in my wrist i felt so good, the next day we had a convivence and my friends saw my wrist but they didn't told me anything then i saw the one who treats me bad crying and i was like what happened babe? she told me "it's my fault, isn't it?" i hugged her and told that it isn't her fault even tho it was so tho days later all the group told me to go to the psychologist, i went but it was worse... that "psychologist" told me i was a crazy, that she will send me to a crazy people hospital and those things, i got more scared and i started to cut my shoulder... time passed and i kinda recovered but i relapsed in january (2013) stopped february and march and relapsed again in april till today, i do it daily. I feel so guilty of people sadness, i can't spend a day without thinking about death, i have no friends, that "friends' group" is over now, they told me they don't want me anymore, and i can't stand this anymore.

obviously this is not all my story it's just like 0.5 from 1.000.000.000.000 parts, thanks for reading.