Victoria Ashley Evelyn Johnson

The other day, while leaving my…beau’s (for lack of a better word) house two spiders infiltrated my car. It’s two o’clock in the mornin’, I’m on a tiny, dark, ass road. And two giant (erm, moderate sized) spiders crawled across my dashboard and windshield. I lost my shit. Being that I’m terrified of spiders, this is about the worst thing that could have happened. Ever. I stopped the car, yes in the middle of the road, and jumped out. I ripped my boot off and began vigorously trying to destroy the spiders but to no avail. They then crawled in to the fucking air vents. I was defeated. I sat there boot in hand, hello kitty sock on display for the world to see, and I cried.

The next day I was informed my car was being recalled for spider infestations.

That.. In a nut shell is my life. Basically my life is a sitcom, and I’m the main quirky, bitchy, misunderstood, too strong for her own good, out spoken, considerate main character. Can you say all the stereotypes?

I’m Victoria Ashley Evelyn Johnson, I am an aspiring writer, and I'm friggin weird.