Jenny Rose Calderon

My name’s Jen. I’m a follower of Christ Jesus and this is my testimony.

For nineteen years I thought I was living my life the right way. I thought I already know Jesus. I thought I was good enough for heaven. I thought I know all I have to know about religion. I thought attending mass every Sunday would save me from the burning flames of hell. And so I thought…

Life during my high school days was a routine. Dread the morning, go to school, pretend to pay attention during classes, fight the urge to fall asleep and spend the rest of the day hanging out with my friends before going home. And because I’m not doing anything bad (like murder or things considered as crime) I thought I was fine. Life was boring. Although I enjoy every minute spent with my friends, I can feel there’s so much more out there. I just didn’t know it yet.

I was insecure. This world made me feel so little compared to everyone else. I started to doubt my abilities. I can only see my failures. I tried hard to please everyone and get frustrated eventually. I welcomed pain and lived with it until I missed out the beauty of life. I almost hated myself. I stayed away from other people. I created a little world where only my family and closest friends dwell with me. But in the end, I just end up hurting myself. THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WANT…

Until one Sunday of August 2009, one of my closest friends invited us to attend their service. I didn’t know she’s already a Christian. I was really hesitant at first but I didn’t argue. I don’t know but I think I was really meant to be at that place that day. I found myself sitting inside the sanctuary, listening to the pastor. And I FOUND PEACE…

I never knew that day would be the start of a new life. That was just an ordinary day but something extraordinary came to me.

I realized that God has been knocking the whole time but I failed to hear Him because I was so preoccupied with my own grief. Just to think that I wasted so much of my life hiding from the world and complaining why things aren’t happening the way I want it makes me feel awful.

Life isn’t about me! My mistake is that I keep thinking about what I can get from this world when I should be thinking on WHAT I CAN GIVE TO THIS WORLD. Since the day I accepted Jesus, I started to see things in a new perspective. Little by little, I learned to accept things the way they are. I even learned to accept and love myself.